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What Can You Do When An Alcoholic Won’t Get Help?

Will quitting drinking solve all of your problems, in health and in life? If that’s where you’re setting your expectations, you might feel like you gave up something you loved (getting really drunk) for no good reason, even when that’s objectively not true. One way to combat that feeling, Dr. Koob says, is to check in with yourself after a few months of sobriety to take stock of the benefits you’re reaping.


Effective help, therefore, must address both the biological and psychological facets of addiction. Education can foster empathy, reduce stigma, and lead sober living recovery homes to more effective support strategies for those battling with alcohol addiction. We’re not talking the way that popular culture glorifies interventions.


  1. Point out how little time you’re spending together recently.
  2. While it’s ideal for your loved one to decide on their own to enter treatment, sometimes they need help in making the decision to take the first step.
  3. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
  4. The journey is complex, but consistent, nonjudgmental support provides so much hope.

If you want to end up in that 25%, it's important to identify why you're drinking in the first place. You should also surround yourself with people who will help you quit and celebrate your wins along the way. There are plenty of intervention strategies that will help get you prepared for staging an intervention.


Helping Someone with a Drug Addiction


It’s essential to consult with a health professional when dealing with addiction. Whether it’s for advice on treatment options, understanding the nature of addiction, or getting recommendations for treatment centers, professionals can offer support and guidance. If your loved one is struggling with addiction but refuses treatment, you might feel helpless, scared, and frustrated. There’s no magic formula for how to get someone to go to rehab. You can’t force an adult to go to drug or alcohol addiction treatment, but there are some ways you can help them gain the motivation they need to go there willingly.


Press Play for Advice On Finding Help for Alcohol Addiction


It involves empathy, examining the discrepancy between the person’s goals and their current behavior, calm demeanors, and reminding the person what they’re capable of. Each of these elements — therapy, medication, and social support — addresses a different aspect of addiction. Therapy retrains the brain, medication can mitigate the physiological drive to drink, and social support creates a reinforcing community of encouragement and accountability. Together, they form a comprehensive treatment approach that addresses the multifaceted nature of alcohol addiction. While this doesn’t sound like it directly impacts the suffering person, you’re admitting the problem and bracing yourself to be a support system for your loved one.


How to Get Help For Your Loved One


There is also the fear of confrontation in addressing the problem with the alcoholic. This fear is often greater than the need for someone to receive medical attention. Although the alcoholic ultimately has to come to their own conclusion that change is necessary, they will most likely not come to that realization if nothing else changes. Those closest to the alcoholic should not continue their strategies or patterns of behavior that may be preventing the situation from improving.


To get started, try searching a directory like Psychology Today or Inclusive Therapists, both of which have filters you can use to look for specific support around substance use. Depending on where you may live and the situation at hand, you can force someone into receiving treatment. However, when a person is clearly suffering from substance abuse but is refusing help, some may think that forcing them to go into a treatment or rehabilitation facility will work. This process may vary widely from state to state, and it’s essential to understand what situations warrant involuntary commitment. Unfortunately, you can’t control your loved one’s actions, but you can control your own behavior towards someone struggling with an AUD. In doing so, you might be able to help them see the need for and seek treatment for alcoholism.


But with your ongoing support and love, they can get there. Lecturing an addicted person about their negative behavior or the consequences of their actions is unlikely to be effective. After all, one of the telltale symptoms of an alcohol use disorder is continuing to drinking at workplace drink despite significant consequences like difficulty at work, worsened health and damaged relationships. “For psychologists, many of them are addiction-informed, and in their advertisements or on their websites they will mention that specifically,” Dr. Lembke said.


Ask them about the stressors that are forcing him or her to seek refuge in frequent drinking. Compassion will open up new doors for you but remember not to take a higher moral ground or make the person feel like a loser. The media keeps reminding us how debilitating alcoholism can be. The definition of alcoholism presumes that alcoholics have the potential not to only ruin the life for themselves, they usually drain the people around them along the way. Are you looking for ways to help an alcoholic family member, friend, or colleague?


Ways you can help include avoiding alcohol when you’re together or opting out of drinking in social situations. Ask about new strategies that they learned in treatment or meetings. It’s important to have people you can talk honestly and openly with about what you’re going through.


Seeking Professional Health Advice


This way, you will not find yourself without anything to say and have more chances of persuading your loved one to undergo treatment. Books on recovery from alcoholism can also help one find the right words to reach the alcohol user. Educating yourself on the ways in which addiction or substance abuse works
People often say knowledge is power and they’re not wrong. The more you know about the biological and social underpinnings of an addiction, the more resources you can resort to in order to try and address the issue. What’s more, you can draw from other experiences to empathize with your loved one and understand where he or she is coming from. You can help them to cope with desire to drink if you know how to stop craving alcohol.



Those experiencing alcoholism often place drinking above all other obligations and responsibilities, including work and family. They may also develop a physical tolerance to alcohol or experience withdrawal symptoms if they quit drinking. If you notice that you are enabling the addiction, stop it immediately. Once you stop enabling the addiction, your loved one will recognize the consequences of their actions.


Online Therapy: Is it Right for You?


By promoting self-care, encouraging treatment without being pushy, and recognizing your own limitations, individuals can support an alcoholic who doesn’t want help from afar. The emotional impact of helping a loved one stay sober can take a toll. Seek help from a therapist or a counselor if you feel stressed or depressed. You can also participate in a program that’s designed for the friends and family members of alcoholics, such as Al-Anon. Sometimes, people struggling with alcoholism aren’t aware of how their behavior affects others. Share specific times when your loved one’s drinking has caused harm to themselves or others.


Alcohol can make it hard to think clearly, cause strokes or high blood pressure, lead to cirrhosis and weaken your immune system. It may also mess with your sleep, and poor sleep hygiene can lead to further health concerns, like obesity and diabetes. Knowing all the the link between alcohol and hair loss negative effects alcohol has on your physical and mental health can make it easier to understand why you're better off without it. Framing sobriety as a temporary challenge versus a permanent lifestyle change can make it easier to stay sober for the long haul.